Why is chocolate so deadly?

Willy Wonka never expected that his factory of Oompa-Loompas could possibly be so helpful in the pursuit to Kill The Dogs. Oddly enough, one of the world's favorite flavorings is absolutely deadly to dogs! 
Chocolate, or dog riddance (as we call it), is a cheap and effective way to manage those gangs of unsightly mutts that terrorize your neighborhoods. It only takes about 2 ounces of pure baker's chocolate to stop the heart of the average dog. A hungry mutt could easily scarf down much more than that amount in one sitting. Dogs will often eat their own feces in amounts greater than 2 ounces, so don't worry about if they will actually eat it. Getting a dog to eat chocolate is effortless. 

Why is chocolate so deadly?

One word: theobromine.

Let's see what our good friends at Animal Planet have to say about the issue:

Dogs and people are different in lots of ways. For example, dogs can run around in the snow all day in their bare feet and it doesn't cause them any problems. People can run around barefooted in the snow for 30 seconds or so before it hurts. There are lots of differences like that between dogs and people.
It turns out that, for dogs, a chemical in chocolate called theobromine is the source of the problem. Theobromine is similar to caffeine. According to this page, theobromine is toxic to a dog when it ingests between 100 and 150 milligrams per kilogram of body weight.
Different types of chocolate contain different amounts of theobromine: It would take 20 ounces of milk chocolate to kill a 20-pound dog, but only 2 ounces of baker's chocolate or 6 ounces of semisweet chocolate. It is not that hard for a dog to get into something like an Easter basket full of chocolate eggs and bunnies and gobble up a pound or two of chocolate. If the dog is small, that could be deadly.
It turns out that chocolate poisoning is actually not as unusual as it sounds. For a human being, caffeine is toxic at levels of 150 milligrams per kilogram of body weight (see this page). That's the same as for dogs!

Reference: "Is chocolate poisonous to dogs?"  09 September 2008.  AnimalPlanet.com. <http://animals.howstuffworks.com/pets/question348.htm>  02 September 2012.

To all the audience readers who are anti-dog:
If you want to apply this knowledge, remember to use it within the confines of your local laws and don't poison your neighbor's noisy pets. Utilize local law enforcement first and foremost. 

To all the audience members who are pro-dog: 
Please don't start to feel holier than thou, just because we advocate for the death of dogs and you claim to protect life. In reality, anyone who eats vegetables is an insect and animal killer. Pesticides and animal traps are an integral part of growing healthy crops. McDonalds and other meat themed fast-food restaurants kill cows, chickens, pigs, and fish by the millions. Just check out the menu and review the ingredients. Would it settle your nerves if McDonalds began selling authentic hotdogs, made from actual dog meat?


Kill The Dogs

http://killthedogs.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/death-by-chocolate-how-to-kill-dogs.html